Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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