Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
