Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
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