this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
