And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
