shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
