and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
