Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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