You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
