Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
