So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize
