Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
