great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
