just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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