I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
