Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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