Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
So many bounce houses so little time
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
He shit in the fireplace
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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