his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
