I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I need help removing her.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
