Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
