final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
