the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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