you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
