I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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