make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
