I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
