Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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