Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Randomize