No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
