have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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