i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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