this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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