What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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