You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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