yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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