Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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