how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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