Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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