All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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