She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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