Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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