Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
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