My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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