Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
