1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
