You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
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