Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
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