oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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