omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I have feelings that need drinking.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
