Betty ford says i'm here all night
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
