"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
