Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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