he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
