In the future we'll all be gay
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
