this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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