I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
