I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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