I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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