The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
