Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
