I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
