I didn't shave. On purpose
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize
