all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
NoShamevember. You game?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
