my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
