I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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