I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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