He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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