I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
