You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
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