When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
