its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
