last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
