i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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