Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
