I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize