Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
