Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
