Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
