If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
