I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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