Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
