I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
