After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
